Okay, so I'm a huge movie fan, even if nothing on this blog yet attests to that. Theres not much better than seeing a new movie up on the giant screen with a fat bag of popcorn, and a massive soda filling you so full of liquidy sugar your eyes are floating by the end of the movie so you don't have to get up.

Today, since I was in town, out of my mountain hide-away, I figured i'd catch a flick. While I really wanted to check out Pineapple Express, or Step Brothers, or even the new X-Files movie, I ended up settling on the new mummy movie: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I was a big fan of the first and second mummy movies, and always find Brendan Fraser to be a pleasure on screen acting his Indiana Jones part. He's always good for a laugh or a dozen throughout the course of the movie. Not to forget to mention that half of the enjoyment of the first two mummy movies was Brendan's on screen wife, Rachel Weisz. You just can't ever get too tired of watching her on screen.

I knew that The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor seemd odd in the previews as I didn't see any shots of Rachel Weisz, and chose not to go do any online research prior to seeing it in person, but just wanted to go off of my prior enjoyment of the series. It was so funny though that the only shot of Maria Bello in the previews I saw was so brief you couldn't quite be sure if it wasn't Rachel after all. Funny how the seemed to definitely play down the fact the original starlet wasn't in the new movie, and failed to play up the new heroine.

Let me backtrack for a minute and explain why I failed to end up in my first 3 choices of movies. I declined on opening day for Pineapple Express and Step Brothers simply because I mainly enjoy seeing a movie with some great special effects when I go to the theater. I'd like to take advantage of the big screen & booming surround sound for a great action flick rather than wasting it on a comedy that would be just as great on my HDTV at home after I find a torrent for the movie online. So I skipped over the comedies that I definitely would have loved, and the The X Files: I Want to Believe was taken off my list as the closest theater wasn't showing it, and I didn't feel like going anywhere else just for that reason. So The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was the next best choice since I didn't want to sit in the theater for 3 hours for the The Dark Knight even though it as well would have been a flick I loved watching.

So overall, the new mummy movie was right out of the old ones as far as plot goes, and I won't go into any spoilers here so read on, but Maria Bello playing the role of Evelyn O'Connell was simply a poor replacement for the enchanting Rachel Weisz. Brendan Frasers part seemed forced and not like he was enjoying the role. In the previous films in the series, I found myself laughing througout with the quick quips, sexual inuendos, etc, but this time I felt like I'd rather try to suck life out of a dirty toenail than try to find humor in this rendention of the mummy.

Jet Li was probably the worst I've ever seen him, and I've enjoyed a lot of his work over the years, but as an undead mummy, he's a little gay.

The only laughs I got (approximately two) came from John Hannah playing the goofy brother of Evelyn. His repeat appearence was no different than the others, and the laughs came from references to the previous movies, and the humor was found there.

Michelle Yeoh and Isabella Leong were easily the best part of this movie for me, as well, a sexy, sword wielding oriental woman in an action flick is well... just downright hot. The only credibility in the roles came from these two. I definitely felt that the leap from the kid in the first two movies to Luke Ford as an early twenties version of the O'Connell boy was just too much, and didn't do the trick.

I'd normally have walked out of this movie about 15 minutes in, but I really didn't feel like either wasting my cash, or breaking out a complaint for an exhcange ticket so I forced myself to sit through the whole damn thing just so I could bitch abou it later.

And while this may be the first real review I've made online of a flick I've seen, I'm not the quickest to complain about movies. I LOVE MOVIES. I love movies that most consider completely retarded, and I love movies that are hated by millions worldwide.

I got more of a kick out of a pre-movie commercial that was a clear rip-off of The Breakfast Club by John Hughes for JC Penny and I got more acting out of the 1 minute preview for the next Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Fuck this movie, go see Pineapple Express instead.